I killed my husband
by Katharina
Summary: I just saw the episode where Cole dies and afterwards I ran to my computer. This it what came out of my rather disturbed and shocked mind. Please give me Feedback!!!
1. I killed my husband

I cried for a long time. I had done the ultimate betrayal, I had killed my husband. To me it didn't matter that he had been the source of all evil or that he was about to kill my whole family. All that mattered was that I had killed Cole, the love of my life. I will never forget his last words. "I will always love you Phoebe," he said just when I was vanquishing him. In that moment I know that he had truly loved me, and I hated myself for doing what I was doing. I killed him!  
  
Piper, Paige and Leo tried to convince me that it was not my fault, that I had done the right thing, but I KILLED MY HUSBAND, just because it was the right thing to do doesn't mean it hurt any less.  
  
Then I did something even worse than killing Cole. I killed my son. One night, a few days after Cole had died, I woke up with a terrible stomach ache. I was alone in the room, which was my own fault since I had sent my sisters away, so I called for Leo. Of course he orbed into my room immediately, but it was already too late. I had lost my child. The doctors in the hospital later said that I had miscarried, that this could happen to everybody, but I don't believe them. It was my fault that my baby had died. I had killed it just like I had killed Cole. If I had just taken better care of me, maybe it wouldn't have happened.  
  
Now I have lost both and I can't stand it anymore. Any second of the day I think of them and it hurts so much that I think I will go crazy. And all the time I know that there is only one person to blame.  
  
Me!!!  
  
I'm the one who caused all this pain and I'm the one to punish. 


	2. Gone

"Phoebe please open the door."  
  
Piper was standing outside of Phoebe's room, knocking ever so gently trying to get her sister to open the door and let her in.  
  
"She still hasn't answered yet?" Paige asked with a concerned look on her face.  
  
"No, and I am really worried. The doctor had said she has to take good care of herself now. But she hasn't come out of this room since at least 30 hours and she doesn't eat anything."  
  
"Maybe I should orb us in, so we can at least get her to eat something."  
  
"I thought of that already, but maybe she just wants to be alone."  
  
"But Piper, she has got to eat."  
  
"You are right." Piper admitted. She turned back to the door and announces with a loud voice: "Phoebe do you here me? We are very worried about you. You've got to eat. If you don't let us in, we have to orb in."  
  
They waited for about two minutes but didn't get a reply. Finally Paige took Piper's hand and orbed them into Phoebe's room.  
  
It was empty! Phoebe was not lying in her bed crying, like the last time they had seen her. She was nowhere to be seen. Confused the sisters looked around the room and in the bathroom, but they could not find Phoebe.  
  
They did find something though. In the middle of the bed lay Phoebe's photo album. Absently Piper took it in her hand. Where could Phoebe be? When Piper bend down to lie the album back a paper fall out. She unfolded it and started to read:  
  
"I cried for a long time. I had done the ultimate betrayal, I had killed my husband…"  
  
Shocked Piper read the Paper. Paige who had recognized what Piper was doing looked over Piper's shoulder and read the letter as well. When they were finished both of them could not believe what they had just read.  
  
"Do you think she will do something to herself?" Paige asked afraid.  
  
"I hope not. But we do have to find her. LEO!"  
  
As usually Leo orbed in immediately. He read the letter and agreed that they had to find Phoebe as soon as possible. But when he tried to sense Phoebe, he couldn't reach her…. 


	3. despair

Phoebe's tears were still running down her cheeks. Since days she couldn't stop crying and that hadn't changed when she had left the Manor. She had walked around for a long while unsure of what to do. But in the end she had ended up at the cemetery, near to the chapel where she had married Cole.  
  
Phoebe had been sitting on the ground for a while unaware of the cold and dump air; not even recognizing that she was shaking and that her hands were red by the cold. She didn't even realize when she lifted the knife and held it high into the night sky.  
  
"Soon we will be back together Cole." Phoebe murmured than she brought the knife down on herself. 


	4. Searching

"We have to find her!" Piper said for the third time in this minute.  
  
"And we will find her, Piper." Her husband Leo tried to assure her.  
  
"Can't you try to sense her again?"  
  
"Piper I have already tried a million times. She is neither here nor in the underworld."  
  
Piper looked at Leo, tears in her eyes. He shrugged his shoulders and tried to sense Phoebe again. "I can't lose her, Leo." Piper whispered. But as much as Leo tried, he was not able to sense Phoebe.  
  
  
  
"Guys. I think I just found something." Paige's voice came from the attic. She had been searching through the Book of Shadows ever since they had discovered that Phoebe was missing. Piper and Leo sprinted immediately upstairs.  
  
Expectantly they looked at Paige, but their hope was soon destroyed by the sad face of Paige. Wordless she handed Leo and Piper the book and showed them a tiny entry. It had no pictures, and no ornaments like most of the entries in the book of Shadows have, it was only black ink, written with a shaky hand.  
  
  
  
"Today we have to mourn about the lost of our sister Penelope," Piper read out loud. "She has left us behind. But not by the hands of a demon she had been killed, nor evil had come out to destroy her. She had been seeking death on her own.  
  
About two days ago we had lost any connection to her, weren't even able to sense her. Worried we have been looking everywhere to find Penelope, but without success.  
  
Only in the moment she ended her life we could feel her presence again and all witches were able to hear her last words: "Soon I will see my love again."  
  
We cry for Penelope and miss our beloved sister. All we have left is the hope that she will be reunited with her husband in death."  
  
  
  
Piper's voice faded away and she looked up from the book.  
  
"What does this mean?" Paige asked uncertainly.  
  
Not knowing the answer piper looked puzzled at her husband.  
  
"I think it means that if a Charmed One is willing to give up her life than we are not able to sense her anymore."  
  
"You mean Phoebe committed suicide?" Paige asked afraid.  
  
"No, according to the book you will feel when she dies."  
  
"That means that we have still some time left," Piper said resolutely. "We have to find her!"  
  
"But how can we find her, if we are not able to sense her???" 


	5. Hope

Just when Phoebe was about to kill herself somebody stopped her. The knife came to halt just inches above Phoebe's skin. Surprised and confused Phoebe looked up, trying to find out who had interrupted her, but she was blinded by her own tears.  
  
"If you kill yourself now, then this will be the biggest mistake you have ever done."  
  
Phoebe knew this particular hoarse voice and immediately jumped to her feed trying to stumble away. The Seer only laughed at her.  
  
"You are to weak to run away. But you don't need to fear me, I'm not here to harm you."  
  
"What do you want."  
  
"I will help you to get Cole back."  
  
"I will not revive the Source."  
  
"No Phoebe, listen to me. I am going to help you to get back Cole. The Source will remain dead."  
  
"That is impossible. Besides why would you want to help me?"  
  
"I will help you, you will help me."  
  
"How could I help you?"  
  
"I need your protection. The underworld blames me for the death of the Source. They say I should have taken better care of you. Now they want to punish me for my failure."  
  
"Why should I care? I would vanquish you myself if I could."  
  
" Don't you want to see your husband again."  
  
"But how do I know that this is not one of your traps?"  
  
"You will have to trust me. Just like I will have to trust you."  
  
"I'll have to talk to my sisters…"  
  
"I understand, but hurry. I don't have much time."  
  
The Seer left and Phoebe remained at the cemetery alone. She stood there looking down on the knife in her hands. Disgusted she threw it away. How could she kill herself if there was a possibility to get Cole back.  
  
As fast as she could Phoebe returned to the Manor. 


	6. Agreement

"Guys where are you?" Phoebe screamed as soon as she run into the Manor.  
  
Her sister couldn't believe that she had returned. The last hour they had feared that Phoebe would end her life and now she ran into the attic, breathless and excited.  
  
"There's a way to revive Cole. The Seer just told me."  
  
Confused everybody stared at Phoebe.  
  
"And you trust her?" Piper asked instantly.  
  
"Not really, but what choice do I have. Beside she needs our protection. She depends on us."  
  
"But Phoebe how do you know we won't revive the source too?" Paige asked skeptically.  
  
"That won't happen," the hoarse voice of the Seer announced. The three sisters and Leo turned around and saw her standing next to the door.  
  
"The spell I have in mind uses the love between Cole and Phoebe. The Source was never a part of that."  
  
Pleadingly Phoebe looked at her family. "Please, let us do this. I need Cole."  
  
"But what if we revive the Source by accident?" Paige asked again.  
  
Piper considered this for about a minute. Then she agreed to try the Seer's spell. Phoebe had been desperate enough to nearly kill herself. She obviously needed Cole, so Piper would do anything to help her get Cole back.  
  
The Seer immediately started her preparations and the others helped as much as they could. Only Paige did not help. She took the Book of Shadows and went to the kitchen to mix a potion. 


	7. Revive

The preparations took almost half a day, but finally they were done. Paige did not assist at the preparations but when it was time to cast the spell she did not refuse to help. However nobody realized that she was hiding a powerful potion in her pocket.  
  
The Charmed Ones and the Seer sat down in a magic circle and started chanting. First it seemed like it would not work. But then light green smoke appeared slowly forming the features of Cole. It took a long while until the smoke finally became solid. Nevertheless in the end a big explosion almost knocked the witches to the ground and suddenly Cole was standing in the middle of the circle.  
  
For a moment nobody said a word, they didn't even move. But then Phoebe jumped up to her feed and into Cole's arms. With that everybody else started moving again and they all started celebrating. Only the Seer remained silently in the background.  
  
It took Cole a long time until he finally realized that he and Phoebe were not the only ones in the room.  
  
"Honey what are they doing here," he asked his wife as soon as he had spotted Leo, Piper and Paige.  
  
"They helped reviving you."  
  
"But they are the ones who killed me." Cole screamed angrily. He stepped away from Phoebe, raining his hands against Piper, his eyes glowing.  
  
"Nooooooooooo," Phoebe screamed.  
  
They had revived the source!!! 


	8. Happy End

Only two people in the room were not surprised by the latest development.  
  
One was, of course, the Seer, who had planned all this the whole time. A satisfied smile spread across her face.  
  
The other person was Paige. She had never really believed the Seer. Too many times this woman had tried to trap them. But this time Paige had been prepared.  
  
Bravely she stepped forward. "You won't ever again harm one of us." She told the Source. Before the Source was able to reply, she took the potion she had made earlier out of her pocket and threw it at the Source. In the same instance she gave her two sisters a piece of paper and motioned them to say the spell she had written.  
  
Together they cast the spell, not only Phoebe had tears in her eyes. But when they finished something unbelievable happened. The Sources body roused in fire, but he did not disappear. After the flames were gone he was still there.  
  
"Did your spell not work?" Piper asked worried  
  
"Yeah I did. But it only vanquished the Source, it did not harm Cole. I created a spell similar to the one Phoebe once used on Belthazor."  
  
A luck scream escaped Phoebe and she hurried into Cole's open arms!!!  
  
  
  
Thanks guys for sticking with me. I realize this probably was pretty weird. But I just could not accept the fact that Cole is dead! 


End file.
